Consent is one of the most important topics that need to be taught to everyone. However, most of the time you’ll find that it isn’t taught by high schools, our parents or even universities. So then how can you learn about it when it’s not even taught to you? Well here is a breakdown on what consent is all about to help you with your future relationships and sexual encounters.
You can revoke consent at any time
Whether you’re in a uber on the way to their place or in the bedroom getting undressed, you can revoke consent at any time. Even if your partner wants to continue and you start to feel uncomfortable you can always step away. Some partners may start to guilt trip you into continuing by saying that you “led them on”, but if you’re not keen then you can just walk out the door.
Coercion isn’t consent
This brings us to our next point on coercion. If you had to be convinced to give consent, then you’re actually not giving consent at all. Coercion isn’t only when someone threatens or intimidates you into it, it can be as can be as simple as your partner continuously pestering you until you give consent.
Giving consent, for one thing, doesn’t mean you give consent for the other
Let’s say that you’re at a bar and you meet a hot guy, he buys you some drinks and you start making out. But later you realise that he wants more. Just because you give consent, for one thing, it doesn’t mean you give consent for everything else.
Consent is continuous
Another important aspect of consent is that it is actually continuous. This means that you need to continuously ask your partner whether they are ok with certain sexual acts. This way you’ll know what your partner wants and what they don’t want.
Just because you don’t say no, doesn’t mean you give consent
Consent only comes when you use the word yes. There will be times when your body may freeze because you’re afraid or slow to react because you’re drunk. This is why you always need to confirm with your partner on whether or not they are ok with what is about to happen.
Consent isn’t just a once off thing, it is a step by step process. While this may seem tedious to some, it is actually the best way for you to know if your partner is fully into it. So next time you’re in such situation, make sure that consent is given by both of you.