Being in a long-distance relationship can be extremely difficult. And when you’re at university, it can be even harder. It’s certainly not easy being away from the person you love. When you start a new chapter in your life, like going to university, you desperately want that person there. And when they can’t be a part of that, it’s upsetting. But, of course, you want to keep your relationship going because you deeply care about each other.
When you’ve decided to move away to study a Bachelor of Arts at your dream university and your partner has started started studying sales and marketing courses online at home, it’s never easy. But it is possible to stay together when you’re far away. And here are some tips to help you out.
Schedule communication
You’re going to try stay in constant communication in the beginning. You’re going to be sitting in the dining hall sending them messages about how gross the food is. Or you’re going to send them a text straight after your first class to tell them how awesome the lecturer is. But soon you’ll be having drinks with your classmates after you’ve all finished a tough assignment and your partner will want your attention. You’ll find yourself missing half the conversation because you’re texting back and forth when you should be socialising. And if you don’t respond, they’ll be upset.
That’s why you need to schedule your communication, so you have each other’s undivided attention at a specific time. You can catch up on your day, tell them all your cool stories and moan about your strict lecturer who won’t give you an extension. But, instead of doing it as it happens, you do it at a time that suits both of you.
Learn the names of the people in their lives
This is important. When they tell you about their new friend or the guy at work who is completely inappropriate, remember the name. You’re obviously interested in their life as you care for them. So show them this by truly listening to what they’re telling you. Because they’ll bring up these names again and you don’t want to have to ask who they’re referring to. It’ll also come in handy when you go home to visit them and meet these people.
Send regular pics of your daily adventures
Did you go on an early morning hike and see the most amazing sunrise? Take a picture. Did you see a hilarious sign with ridiculous grammatical errors? Take a picture. Did your lecture have his toupe on completely skew? Take a picture. Whenever you see something you know your partner would want to see, take a picture and send it to them. You don’t need to send it to them straight away, you can send it that night when you get home. But it’ll make them feel like they’re part of your life, even though they can’t be there in person.
Don’t let life stop you visiting each other
Life will get in the way. You’ll plan to visit each other but then an assignment will come up or they’ll have an important deadline at work and you’ll cancel. You’ll tell yourselves there’s always next time. But there’s never a perfect time for you to visit each other because you both have your own stuff going on. Which is why you should never cancel. They can sit in your room with you while you write your assignment or you can bring them coffee while they finish their work. Technology means you can pretty much do your work from anywhere. It’s not about taking time out of your lives for each other, it’s about being a part of each other’s lives. Which brings us to the next point…
When they visit, include them in your life
Take them with you to lectures, show them around campus and introduce them to your new friends. Don’t take time away from your schedule to be with them, show them how you live. When you’re in a relationship, it’s not always about romantic trips to the beach. It’s about going grocery shopping, cooking dinner together and getting out of bed at 6am even though you desperately want to sleep in.
Don’t ignore each other when you fight
The worst thing you can do is turn your phone off after a fight with your partner. Remember you’re far away and they don’t know what you’re up to. Even if they’re not the jealous type, they at least want to know that you’re okay. So resolve issues when they arise. And if you have to do something when you’re in the middle of an argument, tell them when you can talk again.
Being in a long-distance relationship is never going to simple. But if you love your partner, it will be worth it in the end when you return home.